thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Boobs speak an international language.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
