my sisters under your porch take her home
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
