I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
