this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize