everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
