Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
