come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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