He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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