lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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