your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
