I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
