"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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