Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
