Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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