is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
