His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
