At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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