it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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