There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
