Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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