the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
