I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
