Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We just shotgunned beers for America
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I will pee on everything he values.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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