Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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