with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize