Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize