Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Randomize
