One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
