and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
