This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize