how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
