there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
