I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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