That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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