okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
