i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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