you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
