Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
