New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No subtext here. People are naked.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
