Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize