dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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