...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
