i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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