AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hippo gnu deer
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
