did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize