he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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