Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
