You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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