We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
