I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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