I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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