Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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