I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
