She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
