the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
