dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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