The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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