I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
