yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
