I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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