Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
