i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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