She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
