last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
