It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Randomize
