I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My feet surprised me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
