I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
