He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize