D3 body, D1 cock
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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