I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize