Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
