idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize